6/9/10

God and me..

God is so pulling and stretching me. Most of the time I find it difficult to walk in His calling because I feel sooo unworthy. Yes I know none of us are or ever will be but it's a battle I guess I have always grappled with.

I'm working at a job at my church that I know God opened the door for and His plan is continuously unfolding through that. I've begun leading worship at Koinonia He so graciously allows me to be used to usher His people into His glorious presence I stand in complete awe of Him. Then there is the whole Brazil thing that is a constant undercurrent. I have been asked to pray about giving my testimony while I'm there. I feel as inept to do all these things as I do about steering my son through puberty.

God continues to remind me that I am completely incapable of doing any of this without Him directing my every step. I know I can walk in confidence knowing that He is in complete control and ultimately I do...but I'm not living in that confidence.

I listened to a sermon a couple of days ago and she gave this fabulous analogy of who we are with Christ. She had a water bottle in her hand that she was actually drinking from and she held it up and said..."it's like this water bottle. When we become a Christ follower we poor ourselves out, she tipped over the bottle and tipped it back up, then we fill back up with the Holy Spirit but the bottle is the same." Now the sermon was on dieing to self. But that illustration really spoke to me and what I'm going through with my doubt of self. That God wants to change you and help you be more and more like Christ but He still made you to be you...and really we are responsible for learning who that is and for embracing it then ultimately doing it.

B

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