what's been going on?

Hello...

What's been going on....

I have been in the play "A Christmas  Carol"... Meeting fabulous people and learning a lot! Not sure if I'm cut out for theater? Still figuring that one out. I get to wear an amazing dress that my friend Kim, also a producer of the show, made me. She is wonderful in so many ways... love that girl!

Brittani is wrapping up her first semester in College... I'm afraid this is going by faster than I would like.

Colton is still loving on me in public and I don't hate that! Love that kid

Mom and dad are still settling into Hanford... mom's homesick but happy to be here. It's a bag of mixed emotions. I on the other hand feel like a cloud has been lifted! Having family here with us has been good for my soul!!!!

Still contemplating my place in the world, asking God what I should be doing, what is His purpose and hoping I'm getting it right.

Dreaming of opening a storefront called "This and That" a small vintage shop with handmade expressions, story time on Saturday's with Grandma Humming bird, hammered dulcimer playing in the pack ground... people stopping in to see what's new and loving what they find... What a wonderful daydream...

Oh how could I forget about "big daddy". He's still plugg'n away through his first year as principal... finding balance and being more successful than he realizes. I'm very proud of him!

B

God's voice...

Reading the verses below Nehemiah's boldness stood out to me. Nehemiah asked the king for so much. God had clearly given/shown him favor with king Artaxerxes. 

Nothing can stand in the way of God's plan. Not your position, finances, other people etc... However Nehemiah knew his place and was respectful in it.

When the king asked Nehemiah "what he would ask for" before Nehemiah spoke he asked God what he should ask for. Every moment during these happenings were instructed by God. Nehemiah invited and allowed God to make every decision. He allowed himself to be completely directed by God.

How many times do I have a knee jerk reaction to the situation in my own life? We must keep God in the forefront and allow Him to make our choices for us. Inquire and be concerned with how God wants us to respond.

Two questions I'm asking God:
How do I hear Your voice clearly?
How do you speak to me?

Nehemiah 2:1-8

New International Version (NIV)

Artaxerxes Sends Nehemiah to Jerusalem

2 In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before, ² so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”

I was very much afraid, ³ but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”
⁴ The king said to me, “What is it you want?”
Then I prayed to the God of heaven, ⁵ and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”
⁶ Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?” It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.
⁷ I also said to him, “If it pleases the king, may I have letters to the governors of Trans-Euphrates, so that they will provide me safe-conduct until I arrive in Judah? ⁸ And may I have a letter to Asaph, keeper of the royal park, so he will give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel by the temple and for the city wall and for the residence I will occupy?” And because the gracious hand of my God was on me, the king granted my requests.

Psalm 34...

Psalm 34...

I will extol the Lord at all times;

    his praise will always be on my lips.
²I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
⁶ This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
    and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
    for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
¹² Whoever of you loves life
    and desires to see many good days,
¹³ keep your tongue from evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
    seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are attentive to their cry;
¹⁶ but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
    to blot out their name from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,
    but the Lord delivers him from them all;
²⁰ he protects all his bones,
    not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
    the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
²² The Lord will rescue his servants;
    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Hudson...

my heart is aching for a family i hold dear...

i imagine their souls shouting a battle cry from the top of their lungs coming from the deepest place they never knew existed. the kind of place that none of us know we have until we experience  something so tremendously worth fighting for. a cry out to our God that is constant without ceasing fierce and bold...

Oh if we could see this battle with our spiritual sight it would be a sight to behold.

we are flanked by your side, we are with you in battle, we are crying out from the deep places of our souls, we shall be victorious!

in Jesus name... name above all names, we stand and pray

amen

craft fair...

i'm thinking about getting a booth at a craft fair to sell my wares... i'm a little iffy about it however it's minimal cost and it's a safe venue to kinda get my feat wet and see if anyone will actually buy my stuff...

it's scheduled for november...

what do you guys think???

b

what i love about denise...

yesterday was my friend denises birthday...

you know how our facebook pages get littered on our birthdays with well wishes of happiness and your not sure if everyone really means it or they just don't want to be the ONE that didn't care enough to stop by and drop a line. 

well most of the time i don't care to enter into the fb birthday frenzy so i wanted to dedicate this post to my friend denise...

what i love about denise

her passion

her love for her family

her loyalty to her friendships

the way she obsesses about things and can't rest until she deals with them head on because they are important to her

the way you can see the love in her eyes when she talks about her baby brother

the way she does her job and cares for the kids she works with

the way she makes my daughter feel special

that she is always willing to have my son hang out with hers

how she remembers every detail of your conversation with her even when you don't

her sense of style

her amazing raspy voice

her high pitch laugh even though her voice is low and sultry

love you denise

happy birthday...

b

it can make all the difference...

things can change in a blink of an eye...

make every minute count...

stand out

step  up

just say it

effect the world around you

it can make all the difference to

someone...

i read this statement this morning that slapped me!

things don't matter people do thanks donna

i took it as...
not necessarily monetary... even though it's that too
but offenses, situations, worry, stress, fear

stand out
step up
just say it

b

saturday inspiration

socks!!!

Saturday inspiration...

happy friday!!!!

today was a super long day!!! it felt like one of those never ending work days! Don't get me wrong I love the place I work but I've been so tired it was very difficult to keep my eyes open!

it still feels like a dream having my mom and dad practically down the street from me :) so far for the last 2 days I've headed over to their casa after work and i think to my self "i can't believe i'm driving over to my mom and dad's right now"! yay me...

heading to the in-laws tomorrow! I think we're going to the rodeo so that should be a great time!

i think i'm going to put together a "saturday inspiration" for tomorrows post so be lookin out... also pictures to come of mom and dad settling in.

b

casting call!!!!!

mrs. fezziwig!!!!

yay me...

first rehearsal this monday...

b

a christmas carol

i auditioned for "a christmas carol" tonight!!!! it was so fun and a little scary....but the fun far out weighed the scary... i hope get a part! i'll keep you posted...

b

finally...

today is an amazing day! after being in hanford for almost 8 years without family my mom and dad are coming here to retire! it feels too good to be true and honestly i've been pretty cautious about getting excited about the entire thing. but today is the day! they picked up the keys to there character filled home this morning and the movers come on wednesday. my heart is singing, my soul is filled with joy, my mind is excitedly anticipating the "i can't wait untils"...

feeling so blessed

b

things are looking up...

i was supposed to stop working in august... it's funny how things work out. I had all these big plans! I was excited to start the book club up again, I had all of these projects I was going to do like... finally get my etsy store up and running, cleaning my house top to bottom, cooking dinner every night, taking my husband a home cooked lunch everyday...

It sounded good on paper but after a few bumps and bruises I had to get real with myself and admit it didn't sound appealing at all and I just may loose my sanity.

I now went from working about 4 hours a day 4 days a week to 8 hours a day 4 days a week. I am so thankful and happy that I was able to continue to work with the fabulous people of Koinonia church. The thought of not made my heart ache. Just like God does He worked it all out. I am now Receptionist/Admin Assistant/ whatever else they need and although it has been an adjustment from my previous position, where there was never a dull moment, I am enjoying it very much.

The funny thing is I've been more productive at home with less time. I'm starting new projects around the house. I've found ways to make cooking for the family easier and I've also found time to keep the house much more organized. I've even lost 4 pounds :)

Things are looking up!

B

a little project completed...

so i just moved desks at work. i am adjusting very well to my new work space however there was one eyesore that i just had to get rid of. the arm rest/pad for my keyboard was a little worn and ugly so I came up with a little plan to help things look a little more me...

I had some oil cloth stashed in my fabrics...

big daddy's staple gun

Easy as 1, 2, 3...

perfectly wonderful :)

i made something...

I've been needing a place to hang my jewelry... especially since I am accessorizing more with my new look....

I saw this idea on pinterest and gave it a shot... I really think I'm going to enjoy it :)

peg board from Lowes... 

really like this color and it matches my bathroom

It took quite  a few coats of paint...the peg board was a little porous... I used the entire can of paint 

Hanging in my bathroom :)

I'm gong to get one more basket like this one to hang on the opposite side... these are holding the things that can't hang like rings and such...

my creative space...

It's funny how there is comfort in the piles! Piles and piles of potential... I could not survive without this space. Okay a little dramatic ;) 

Saturday Inspiration...

bring on the AC!!!!!

We have been without air conditioning for almost 2 weeks!!! For those of you who don't live in the Central Valley this is tragic!!!!!!

As we realized our AC stopped working the feeling of dread hit me and "big daddy"... now what! We called out the repairman and found out it was the compressor and would be a whopping $1800.00 to have fixed!!!! ugh

As "big daddy" processed the problem he check the warranty on the AC. Our house is only 8 years old maybe we would get lucky!!!  Sure enough the ONLY thing still under warranty on the AC was the compressor!!! Did we get lucky or what...

It prolonged the process a bit but was totally worth the savings!!!

As we speak the AC guy's working away... and just in time! Triple digits through next week starting today...

Bring on the AC!!!!!!!!

b

feeling comfortable in my skin...

I'm feeling comfortable in my skin..

It feels great! It's inspiring! It's a relief!

A couple of weeks ago lots of things came to a pimply, sore, pus filled head in my life. No longer could it be avoided! God said this must be popped! Pus must be released spewed out all over so the healing can begin... ewwww that's just gross! But you know what? It felt gross...

There is still healing to be done but I am experiencing some of the fruit from allowing the ugly to come.

I feel great!

As you walk through life things attach themselves to you. Sometimes these things suck the life out of you. They way you down without you even knowing. They become ugly growths all warty with hair growing out of them....

My advice... find them, face them and CUT THEM OFF!

Then take a deep breath and enjoy feeling comfortable in your skin!

b

indescribable...

hey this book is on amazon for kindle free right now!!! I bet it's great! Love Louie Giglio and Matt Redman...

click on book for amazon link...

tgif...

Thank God it's Friday!!!!!

The beginning of the week unbearable!

today not so bad...

here's to progress!

b

funny responses to my hair....

i've gotten all kinds of responses to my hair. Happily all good! Well who knows they could be laughing behind my back, pointing fingers and and saying wow she's got some BLEEP...

i've actually been happily surprised by all the dramatic lovely responses! so yesterday was my most unexpected response yet!

very kind lady: WOW!!! That looks A-M-A-ZING...
me:   Thank you
very kind lady:  Do you just love it???
me:   Ya, I really do like it
very kind lady:   Looking at you is giving me goose bumps!!!!!
crickets... crickets... crickets...
me:   OH! well thank youuuuu...

hahahahaha

b

keep moving forward...

as i'm dealing with hard issues or "being tested" i've noticed that it brings stinky parts of my personality to the surface.

pride
anger
rebellion
self pity
complaining
self righteousness... just to name a few... ugh


could this be one of the reasons that I'm being tested in this particular way... Of course!


i'm still focusing on James 1:2-4 the amplified version of the bible says it like this:

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of you faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. (with no defects), lacking in nothing.


I've also gone back and read the trials vs consequences post that i wrote quite a while back. Remembering what God was showing me back then has been helpful.

keep moving forward no matter how small the step...

b

forgivness

the cost of forgiveness is high. look what Jesus did for us on the cross. i'm being called to forgive... and the cost feels impossible. Not that my suffering could ever compare to His. I'm not saying that at all!

Father's word to me in my life and my struggle today:
It's not my place to judge it's my place to forgive. My choice to forgive is what will allow Me (God) to continue the healing and for things to get back on His (God's) track.


the two scripture God gave me for today...


James 1:2-4
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


James 1:22-25
²² Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.


I love you Lord! Give me your strength to do what you have called me to. amen


b

the new hairdo...

top 5 facts i've learned with my new hairdo...

1. always wear makeup
2. earrings are a must!! in fact the more accessories the better (i forgot how much i LOVE accessories!!!)
3. shampoo will last a long time
4. palm aid is my new best friend
5. tweezing my eyebrows on a regular basis is an absolute must!!!!!!!!!

back on facebook and twitter...

pretty sad... i only lasted 3 days

the purge!

has God ever taken you through a time of purging? I mean PURGING!!!!!!! Like binging and purging finger down your throat and violent vomiting totally included in this visual picture...

that's my life at this very moment. It's painful and gross and stinky, violent and unpleasant.

life is not always a bowl of cherries...

here is the hope... God NEVER purges us for nothing!!!! I take heart in knowing i'm being purged with purpose... and He does it so that by the end we have become more like Him.

And isn't that what it's all about?

It is for me...

b

mini cakes...

Look what i made last night!

Only one thing i would do differently. I left them in the oven for about 18 min. however they needed about 5 more. after my mini cakes were out for a bit the cherry's sank to the bottom.

They still tasted fabulous but you had to eat around the center where the cherry was (a very small portion of the cake) because it wasn't quite cooked.

I will definitely make these again. The fam loved them!

it's funny...

i closed my facebook account... i won't tell you why in fear of sounding "judgmental" but i'm happy about it and feel good.

i was going to stop blogging in fear of being hypocritical but i've decided...

Whatever!

i like to blog... people will read it or they wont and i'm good with that...

i will be changing the face of my blog over time... it doesn't fit anymore. You may not understand that but that's okay.

i'm feeling very free and liberated. it's funny, you'de think the opposite would be true. after my latest post about "tests" i a'm going through one of the  biggest in my life, and not in a good way. nothing i will ever talk about here... other than these few words... it's just funny that's all.

oh and by the way i cut my hair...

i decided i love it!

character developed and revealed...

something i read today...

"Character is both developed and revealed by tests. You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible  problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies".


This has been true in my life and as I watch others around me it's true for them too. This past year I've been tested time and time again on what seems to be the same things in many different ways. As my character has been developed and revealed more times than not I have been disappointed by my weakness and response to the tests I've been faced with.  But that isn't the end... I will have many opportunities to pass these tests. The important thing is NEVER throw in the towel. Remember God NEVER gives up on us so don't give up on yourself. Keep on fighting, responding better, loving more. With God ALL things are possible (Matt 19:26)


James 1:12 

Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

bring on the gray!

so this weekend big daddy and i were having the "going gray wont be so bad" discussion and i explained to him how lately me going gray is like being pregnant for the first time...  at first you're afraid to give birth and you're like... hey this is all fine and dandy but lets not talk about squeezing a living, breathing little human out of my... well you get the picture. however by the 8th month your like get this thing out of me i'm ready to get this party started!!!   ya that's how I'm feeling about the gray!!! lets get this party started!!!!


This morning I decided to cut a little patch of my hair down to gray to help gauge when I can finally cut this mop! It's also kinda nice to get an idea of what i'll look like.

i'm thinking mid July out with the old in with the new...

a sweet little sewing project...

this is a little project i've been working on for a cute little girl... I bought the sweater and jeans from old navy. I embellished the sweater and jeans with lace... i love the way they turned out...

it was a snap to machine sew the lace on to the sweater...

next i used no-sew to attach the lace to the front pockets of the jeans and then hand sewed  the lace on to the pockets...

this is after sewing the lace onto the sweater...

this is after sewing the lace on to the jeans...

now i'll wash both items to soften the lace and to loosen the lace from the edges of the pockets as well as get rid of the left over no-sew on the jeans...

a very simple "DIY" project that will work on any sweater or pair of jeans for little girls or grown up girls...  

b